Never will I forget that look that pierced my innermost being,

Darkness suffocates, threatens to overtake me.
I can hardly breathe.
Salt stings my heart and I am undone.
My tattered soul bleeds out the light within.
I want relief so desperately, but I deserve nothing. What can I say? I betrayed Him.
The dead weight of my sin almost smothers what hope I have left.

And I can’t help but wonder, “Does He know how much I love him?”
I didn’t get a chance to tell Him. I know He knows, but I wish with all my heart I could’ve told him
I didn’t mean for it to end this way.
In a moment of weakness, of fear for my life, I heard myself deny Him
Him, whom I love, who I thought I was so faithful to.
I told Him I would die with Him Instead I betrayed Him
I pretended not to know Him
Him, whom I love more than any other.
Forever I will be haunted by the wild cry of the rooster, as I heard the last of those perverse words fall from my lips. For it was then that He turned and looked at me.
Never will I forget His eyes so full of pain, yet infinitely full of love. For me.
I, who wounded Him, in one of His darkest hours, loved me in that moment so dearly. So tenderly. Loves me still.
My hands might as well be the ones pounding the nails into His flesh. He let my sin kill Him because He loves me.
He let our sin strip the very flesh off His bones because He wants us.
We murdered the Son of God and yet He longs for us.
The most evil moment in the history of the world happened because of us. because of our sin.
God have mercy upon us.